Funny mistakes

Today is the 2nd day I became chairperson and all the friends who saw me will ask the same question:"When you become chairperson?" Then have to keep saying the same things to different person. Sian, my duties in class getting more and more. 1st and 2nd term: IRP rep. 3rd term: IRP rep + Physics rep. This term: IRP rep + Physics rep + chairperson. Damn nice right XD.

History:
◦"The Magna Carta provided that no free men should be hanged twice for the same offense."
◦"Another tale tells of William Tell, who shot an arrow through an apple while standing on his son's head."
◦"Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented cigarettes."
◦"The system involving barons and lords was called the futile system."
◦"Milton wrote 'Paradise Lost.' Then his wife dies, and he wrote 'Paradise Regained.'"
◦"Christopher Columbus was a great navigator who discovered America while cursing about the Atlantic. His ships were called the Nina, the Pinta, and the Santa Fe."
◦"The winter of 1620 was a hard one for the settlers. Many people died, and many babies were born. Captain John Smith was responsible for all this."
◦"Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead."
◦"Under the Constitution the people enjoyed the right to keep bare arms."
◦"Bach was the most famous composer in the world, and so was Handel."
◦"Handel was half German, half Italian, and half English."
◦"Bach died from 1750 to the present."
◦"Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He expired in 1827 and later died for this."
◦"[Napoleon] wanted an heir to inheret his power, but since Josephine was a baroness, she couldn't bear him any children."
◦"The sun never set on the British Empire because the British Empire is in the East and the sun sets in the West."
◦"Queen Victoria was the longest queen. She sat on a thorn for 63 years."
◦"Queen Victoria's reclining years and finally the end of her life were exemplatory of a great personality."
◦"Queen Victoria's death was the final event which ended her reign."
◦"Louis Pasteur discovered a cure for rabbis."
◦"Charles Darwin was a naturalist who wrote the Organ of the Spices."
◦"It was the painter Donatello's interest in the female nude that made him the father of the Renaissance."
◦"Without Greeks, we wouldn't have history."
◦"One myth says that the mother of Achilles dipped him in the River Stynx until he became intollerable."
◦"Homer also wrote The Oddity, in which Penelope was the last hardship that Ulysses endured on his journey."
◦"Actually, Homer was not written by Homer, but by another man of the same name."
◦"In the Olympics Games, Greeks ran races jumped, hurled the biscuits, and threw the java."
◦"The government of Athen was democratic because the people took the law into their own hands."
◦"When they fought the Parisians, the Greeks were outnumbered because the Persians had more men."
◦"Eventually, the Ramons conquered the Geeks."
◦"The Whiskey Rebellion was when some people got smashed and went and rebelled."